Vegan Chocolate Beet Muffins

Once upon a time, I went to Marché Jean-Talon and got a little too excited. I got a bag of beets (which contained far too many beets) for only $1.50 and was then faced with the problem of too many beets. After briefly considering a recreation of this video, I decided to just make some chocolate muffins.

I stumbled upon this recipe from Minimalist Baker and decided to go with as this blog has never steered me wrong. Seriously guys, if you ever need a really good healthy recipe, Minimalist Baker takes the cake (pun very much intended).  Without further ado, here is my recreation of this recipe which resulted in some seriously tasty muffins.

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2 Tbs chia seeds + 8 Tbs water (explanation below)

2 beets, roasted

1/4 cup maple syrup

1/3 cup brown sugar

1 1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 cup melted coconut oil

1/4 cup unsweetened almond milk

1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1 1/3 cup all purpose flour

1/3 cup vegan chocolate chips

First, wrap beets tightly in aluminum foil and roast in the oven at 375F for one hour. Allow them to cool thoroughly.

Place chia seeds and water in a small bowl and leave it for about 10-15 minutes. It will form a gel-like paste that will serve as an egg substitute as these muffins are vegan (pro-tip: this works great for lots of other baked good too).

Purée beets in a food processor or blender (I used a magic bullet). Combine the purée in a large bowl with the chia seed goo, maple syrup, brown sugar, baking soda and salt. Add almond milk followed by flour and cocoa powder. Finally, fold in chocolate chips. Spoon mixture into muffin tin lined with paper liners. Bake at 375F for 7-20 minutes. Enjoy!


The Cure For Sadness

Sometimes, life is a little stressful or even just downright unpleasant. You could have a perfectly sensible reason for feeling grumpy like a break-up, an insect infestation, or a temperamental internet connection. The reason could be also be silly (but understandable) like disagreeable weather or having bills. Whatever the reason, sometimes traditional coping mechanisms of throwing spoons or meditating just won’t quite cut it. If you just need to cut the crap and get the cure for sadness, you’ve come to the right place.


(In case you somehow didn’t know, the cure for sadness is chocolate chip cookies)


1 cup all-purpose flour

3/4 cup brown sugar

3/4 cup unsalted butter (softened)

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

2 tsp cornstarch

1 large egg

2 tsp vanilla extract

1/3 cup chocolate chips

In a large bowl, beat butter using either an electric mixer or a pastry cutter (I prefer the pastry cutter) until smooth and creamy. Add brown sugar, egg, and vanilla.  In a separate medium size bowl, mix all other ingredients except for chocolate chips. Gradually add the dry ingredients from the medium sized bowl into the wet ingredients in the large bowl until well combined. Fold in chocolate chips.

Eat as much of the cookie dough as desired while watching trash TV (or Parks and Rec because it’s impossible to feel sad while eating cookie dough and watching Parks and Rec).

Chill remaining cookie dough for at least one hour.

Preheat oven to 350F. Spoon cookie dough onto a baking sheet in approximately golfball sized scoops. Bake 5-8 minutes or until golden brown around the edges.  Share with your co-workers if they’re nice and you’re feeling generous. Otherwise, eat them all with your face and apologize for nothing.

Vegan Chocolate Bars

Every now and then, I stumble across a recipe and my only thought is “HOLY CRAP I NEED THAT RIGHT NOW”. This is exactly what happened here.

There I was mindlessly scrolling around the internet when I came across this. It’s a recipe for homemade vegan chocolate bars. They looked so easy and I already had all of the ingredients on hand. The choice was obvious. I had to stop what I was doing and make these.

Of course, as I am often wont to do, I tweaked the recipe just a little bit as my experience with chocolate tells me that coffee and vanilla make the chocolate flavor that much richer and more delicious.

These were very, very easy to make and when I popped them out of the freezer to sample my handiwork, it was revelatory. I haven’t decided yet if being able to make my own chocolate bars is the best or the most dangerous thing to ever happen.

Without further ado, here is the recipe.


1/2 cup coconut oil, melted

6 Tbs cocoa powder

4 Tbs maple syrup

1 tsp espresso powder

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 tsp sea salt

Melt coconut oil in a saucepan over low heat. Mix in all other ingredients.


Pour into a candy mold (I used parchment paper and a loaf pan because I am a savage and do not own a candy mold). Freeze for 15 minutes.


Eat with your face.